Here’s how you can develop self-confidence and self-esteem:
- Treat yourself as a unique person, not as a low-life who can’t be like others.
Believe that you are a special person, unlike your brothers, sisters, cousins, neighbors, colleagues, or anyone else with whom you may compare yourself. Allow yourself to be different, to dress the way you like, to have a haircut you fancy for, to choose the field of study you have a desire for, to pick the profession you crave for. Let go of the need to meet the expectations of society. Accept yourself. When you accept yourself, everyone accepts you. When you don’t accept yourself, you feel a lack of self-confidence.
Develop positive pictures of yourself in your head. Discourage self put-downs.
Picture yourself doing things you want to do, because what you think in your head becomes your reality. If you can’t imagine yourself reading a book, chances are you’ll never read one. If you can’t imagine yourself being successful, chances are you’ll never gain success.
Catch yourself saying:
“I’m not good at talking to people.”
“I’m not fair.”
“I don’t know how to crack a joke.”
Give yourself positive reinforcement. Develop positive pictures of yourself in your head:
“I’ll be good at talking to people if I just tried talking to people.”
“I may not be fair by some silly standards but I’m gorgeous. And smart.”
“I’ll learn how to crack a joke if I just practiced one here and there.”
Just a correct picture in your head is enough to generate a ton of self-confidence.
Have correct mental pictures.
Be a risk-taker, rather than being someone who takes a safe road.
Do things you’ve never done before. Take risks. Try new things, don’t be afraid to fail. Write that Quora answer you’ve been preparing to write since forever- what if nobody upvotes? At least you did something that so many more just could never. Forward your resume to that company you’ve been thinking since past few weeks- what if they reject you? At least you’ll know you’re not ready yet. Choose that vocation you want to be in even though you didn’t study four years for it- what if you don’t make it? You may not even make it in the field you studied four years for. You might as well try what you desire.
Just trying things out, just taking small risks, internalizes a courageous attitude, and a strong feeling of self-esteem. Those who avoid risks never feel a genuine sense of accomplishment, and always suffer from low self-esteem.
Don’t bore yourself. Be excited about life!
Boredom is a choice. There are plenty of things to do at any moment of life: reading, writing, exploring, playing, working, working out, coloring, observing. You are really lowering your own self-esteem by deciding to feel bored. Think about it- whenever you feel bored, you are not enjoying the person you are with. If you are feeling bored when you are alone, this person is you. This is a short and sweet definition of low self-esteem. Those who have high self-esteem love getting time to themselves because they have plenty of things to do and can put that time to good use. Those who have it low, want someone else to entertain them to take their boredom away.
Don’t settle on boredom. Dress up glamorously, Go get your best party outfit and invite friends to go on a club
Choose independence, not dependence.
Do things on your own if they make sense to you, even when no one else is willing to accompany you. Do that assignment that no one else wants to do- but you want to, take that trip to Goa alone, go watch a movie all by yourself, take that job that people warned you about. Stop asking others to get involved in every little thing you do, stop seeking their approval in your undertakings. Even being independent in tiniest of things you never even considered, like making your own food, cleaning your room, washing your clothes, tracking your spendings, can provide you with a strong sense of independence. As you begin to explore your world alone, you’ll see it with new eyes of confidence.
Strong self-esteem comes from a strong feeling of independence.
Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you’ll succeed or not, you are right.” The answer to building self-confidence and self-esteem is how you choose to think about yourself because that is what you convey to the world.